When the Time Comes


When I was a teenager, my friends and I talked about whether or not we’d adopt. I always said that I would depending on the circumstances but never really put much thought into it.

During my second year of college, I was taking a Deaf  Culture class as part of my degree. One day, we had a guest speaker. The man was a former student of the Deaf Studies program. He told the class about how he had adopted a young Deaf boy and what it was like. That day, I realized that I would love to adopt a Deaf child.

J and I have discussed our future together numerous times. One of the big topics we’ve discussed is how many children we want. Obviously we already have B but we’d like to have a few more kids. We both agreed that we want to have an “ours” baby. During one of our discussions, I brought up the subject of adoption. J was reluctant at first. Once I explained that I want to adopt a Deaf child, if at all possible, J was on board. Who better to adopt a Deaf child than a Deaf man and a hearing woman who knows ASL?

I was so excited about the prospect of adopting a lovely little boy or girl, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I started researching the whole process so that we will know where to start when we are ready. I read so many articles. I wanted to know everything. I sent J links to articles with loads of information and talked about it non-stop. I’m sure he probably though I was an obsessive nut-bag.

In my research, I discovered a website called RainbowKids. Their website gives potential adoptive parents the option of choosing which disabilities they’d be willing to adopt. I was curious to see just how many Deaf children are available for adoption so I signed up. I was able to see all the precious kiddos that J and I could someday adopt.

I fell in love with a few kids. I sent pictures of them to J. I fantasized about what it would be like to pick them up from school. I imagined bedtime and family time. I couldn’t wait to be one of their mommies.

Every week, I get notifications stating that some of the children have been placed with a new family. It makes my heart so happy to see these kids and know that some of them are being adopted. If it is on your heart to adopt, whether through foster care or a private agency, please do so! There are so many children out there who need a safe home with loving parents. Most places don’t require that you be married or rich. They just want to know that you’ll be able to provide a safe and loving environment for the child.

I can’t wait until J and I are ready to adopt. I’d like to purchase a house before we have anymore children. Hopefully, that will happen this year. Once we’re settled into our own home, we’d like to begin trying to get pregnant. In that same time, I’d like to start the adoption process because it takes a while to actually be placed with a child. I can’t wait to be a mama to my step-son, my bio child, and my adopted child. Hopefully soon, J and I will be ready to grow our family.



2 thoughts on “When the Time Comes”

  1. I would encourage you not to differentiate a biological child as “ours” compared to and adopted child. I know you don’t mean anything by it but the choice of wording can end up being misconstrued by many in the adoption community. Not everyone is fortunate enough to be able to have kids biologically, and if they are fortunate enough to be able to adopt (it’s a very difficult process in itself), this child is no different in belonging to the parents. 😊

    1. I understand what you’re saying and I want to assure you that I’m not trying to differentiate between biological and adopted children. I simply used the term “ours” to show that I wasn’t talking about my step-son. After that, I mentioned having a conversation with J about adoption. Previously, we had only talked about me getting pregnant. J had never even considered adoption until I mentioned it. I know that a lot of people aren’t able to have biological children. I, myself, struggle with infertility. Getting pregnant is basically a fantasy at this point but I yearn for it just the same as I yearn for an adopted child (whether I have a biological child or not) and just as I yearn for my step-son when he isn’t with us.

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